So, I missed my ten year reunion this weekend. Ok, if I am being 100% honest (which I am not sure is the best policy like I was told as a small child), you could say I skipped it. One of the graduate courses I teach had weekend sessions (that later got significantly shortened), but I am sure I could have found a way to get to Newton in time.
I don't really know why I wasn't excited to go to my reunion. In general, I got along with almost everyone in my high school and really harbor no ill will towards anyone. My parents still live in my home town, so I would have had a place to say. I was just sort of ambivalent towards it.
In a way I am like that about a lot of things. I dread doing just about anything in social settings with people I haven't seen for awhile. I get anxious, I wonder if I am going to do/say something dumb, I am concerned about how people will perceive me, and generally stress myself out. I have no idea why. I would like to say I have some deep seeded memory where I was mocked in a large social group, or that I was publicly humiliated like Carrie.
But, nothing like that has ever happened. Even more interestingly, I don't get nervous giving presentations to peers, teaching college students, or even on job interviews. I just really get nervous when I am faced with interacting with people I know and like, that I haven't talked to for awhile. I see someone I haven't talked to for awhile in the grocery store and I get nervous. It is weird, I know.
Past experience has told me that I usually have an absolutely great time when talking to people from my past, or interacting in groups. Who knows?
Is there a point to this? Not really. This seems to be a theme with my blogs lately. I am happy to hear that everyone had a great time. I guess maybe that will be motivation enough for me to buck up and go to my 15.
I don't really know why I wasn't excited to go to my reunion. In general, I got along with almost everyone in my high school and really harbor no ill will towards anyone. My parents still live in my home town, so I would have had a place to say. I was just sort of ambivalent towards it.
In a way I am like that about a lot of things. I dread doing just about anything in social settings with people I haven't seen for awhile. I get anxious, I wonder if I am going to do/say something dumb, I am concerned about how people will perceive me, and generally stress myself out. I have no idea why. I would like to say I have some deep seeded memory where I was mocked in a large social group, or that I was publicly humiliated like Carrie.
But, nothing like that has ever happened. Even more interestingly, I don't get nervous giving presentations to peers, teaching college students, or even on job interviews. I just really get nervous when I am faced with interacting with people I know and like, that I haven't talked to for awhile. I see someone I haven't talked to for awhile in the grocery store and I get nervous. It is weird, I know.
Past experience has told me that I usually have an absolutely great time when talking to people from my past, or interacting in groups. Who knows?
Is there a point to this? Not really. This seems to be a theme with my blogs lately. I am happy to hear that everyone had a great time. I guess maybe that will be motivation enough for me to buck up and go to my 15.
No comments:
Post a Comment