A monkey and his key-bored: I am back in Iowa, it is spring, this is what is on my mind....

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I am back in Iowa, it is spring, this is what is on my mind....

As Spring approaches I would like to make my yearly plea/public service announcement to weather forecasters in Iowa.

Here it goes:

Dear Iowa weather forecasters;
I have lived in Iowa for most of my life. I understand the dangers of tornadoes. You only need to break into your fine programing (The Bachelor, The Middle, Parenthood, etc.) once to warn me there may be a tornado in the area (no need to tell me that a tornado is "possible", I can discern that myself). In addition, you are allowed to inform me one more time if (and only if) the tornado is within 15 feet of my house (these messages should be kept to less than 10 seconds). If you do not choose to offer the second warning, I will not hold you accountable. Finally, there is really no need to break into your prime-time broadcasting to let me know that it is: raining, thundering, misting, windy, or the sunset is a slight shade of green.

Sincerely,
Bill Henninger

1 comment:

AnonymousMarch 23, 2011 at 3:21 PM
Now that is good advice for Public service announcements ! I really think most people get the warning the first time. Love, Mom
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Where am I? This isn't my beautiful life (Heads, T. 1980)!

Why the name???
One of my favorite sayings in the world is, "If you give a monkey a typewriter and infinity, he will write the Bible (you can insert any great book here as to not offend a religion)." I love this quote because it really makes several interesting statements. At it's heart it is a comment on probability. Basically saying that if you try at something long enough you are bound to succeed...no matter how deficient you are. It is the basis of science, failure begets failure, until we learn enough from failures that we are able to succeed, and I love science.

I also feel like this statement reminds us all that we shouldn't get too impressed with our abilities as a human race. We are not so far away from that monkey clunking away on the typewriter. Yes, we have invented many wonderful things. But, we have also participated in some horrible wars over odd things, excluded and hurt people simply because they are different, and created general mayhem on the environment. Despite the Parthenon, Shakespeare's sonnets, and our religious tomes we are just one small incident away from becoming monkey's chucking spears (or poop). The image should keep us all humble.

I often feel when I am authoring a blog that I am trying to create something meaningful that will, at the least, entertain people. Associated with that feeling, I often feel like I am flailing miserably. However, I shall keep hacking away, hoping some day probability prevails and I write something meaningful. In the event I do write something worthwhile, I hope I am level headed enough to remember my second point. If not, the five of you who read this blog can feel free to remind me.

And what about keyboard being spelled key-bored? Aside from the fact I utilize the English language like a dog would handle a paintbrush, bored refers to the emotion that usually precedes my writing, boredom. Get it? It is my attempt at being clever and deep.